Victoria’sTool Box
Welcome to my Tool Box. Here I share some of the everyday tools for keeping yourself happy and healthy, they are things that clients regularly ask me about.
I find it’s not just what happens in the therapy room that matters. You are living your life outside your therapy appointments and are continuing to care for yourself. So understanding what triggers you or holds you back is essential.
Secrets from my tool box.
My work is based around the simple concept of the three ‘R’s.
No, not what you were taught in school (if only that was the case!), but the stages that we go through as we uncover who we are, and how we can learn to be happy within ourselves. When you are aware of these, they will allow you to make a real and positive change in your life:
Understanding the Three R’s:
Recognise (1), Resonate (2), Release (3)
When we start to look at what we’re doing in our day to day lives we may notice that we don’t always know what it is that is making us feel stressed out, upset, tired or angry. So we need be our own detectives and be mindful about the following:
RECOGNISE (1). I encourage clients to make a diary and start to recognise reoccurring patterns or behaviours. Just start by noticing and being aware of how you are feeling.
RESONATE (2). This will lead you to understanding yourself, to be able to make a change that matters, that really suits you, not just a generic change that you can get from any self - help book. That’s when we really resonate with who we are and become unafraid of being ourselves and living a more satisfying life.
RELEASE (3). We can then release the rubbish we don’t need because we can clearly identify it and then let it go.
The Power to Simply HALT!
Bring the word HALT into your mind and see it there, take a moment and see what you are feeling right there and then. Then ask yourself these quick questions – am I?
Hungry?
Angry?
Lonely?
Tired?
We may find that when we answer these questions there is a simple and clear answer as to why we crave a drink or we feel like shouting or we are losing our temper with someone else rather than attending to our own needs.
By asking these simple questions we can take care of the real problem and see what a real difference it makes. You will soon learn to better understand your emotions and find it easier to comfort or rest yourself rather than taking it out on someone or something else. We also don’t need to reach for what I like to call ‘half measures’ such as drink, drugs, other people or wasteful distractions.
Try the ‘Rubbish Bag’ exercise.
Grab yourself a pen and a piece of paper then draw a simple picture of a rubbish bag on it – this can be very basic, no Art degrees are necessary here!
Each day, or as often as necessary, jot down onto the bag things which are upsetting you, stressing you out, making you feel down. Write it all out. This can be names of people, places, daily struggles or anything else which you feel is affecting your state of mind. It doesn’t matter what you write as it’s personal and private.
Then simply take the paper, screw it up or rip it up and throw it away, just like a rubbish bag - DONE!
This simple yet powerful exercise allows us to physically and mentally distance ourselves from the things we feel are difficult or we don’t need. So, throw them out like you would the rubbish. You don’t need them any longer and by clearing out you will begin to feel calmer and more balanced.